There are some hilarious posters

here. Check them out for a good laugh.

The best one is the Debt Star! Thanks to Kevin for sharing it.

FW: Awesome Craigslist Ad

To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown, Savannah)
Date: 2009-01-06, 3:43AM EST

I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize.

I didn't expect you to crap your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it?

I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.

I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itself in a dumpster.

I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I was about to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well.

So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, so I'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.

If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunch and laundry.
Peace!

- Alex

This is too funny!

Ok, this is going to be difficult to explain to those of you outside the Zion Curtain and since I'm emailing this in, I can't get the formatting just right to clarify. But read this story and then I'll comment underneath the link.

PROVO, Utah (AP) -- The owner of a grocery chain said his 9-year-old daughter persuaded him to stop selling alcoholic beverages and cigarettes at one of his 11 stores.

"She asked me why I was selling drugs at my store," Paul Ream said of daughter Shyanne. "That's when I decided to remove the alcohol and tobacco because I felt we are out of alignment with the values of the community."

The store has problems with beer. Shoppers have placed beer bottles in root-beer cartons to fool clerks at the cash register. "Beer is one of the most shoplifted items in our grocery store, next to pregnancy kits and batteries," grocery manager Tim Norris said. The store began asking everyone buying root beer to show identification. Beer and alcohol account for less than 1 percent of monthly sales.

"We make about $1,500 a month from beer and alcohol. But our sister store in Springville does about $1,000 in beer sales on a Sunday alone," Ream said.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=1843160

First of all, note the location of the store and this story- Provo, Utah. Proud home of Brigham Young University, ground zero breeding ground of proud Mormon missionaries and young women striving to become a Mrs. of a returned missionary after he completes his mandatory obligation to the church's global outreach program. Provo is a white bread town, spilling over with squeaky-clean college students sworn to celibacy, temperance and an obligation to report fellow student"s misbehavior to the authorities. Those folks in Provo that aren't BYU students are former BYU students who stayed and began propagating offspring close to their alma mater. Got that?

So how funny is it that the two biggest shoplifting items from this store are beer that's forbidden and home, (or dorm) pregnancy kits?

Shoppers have switched beer bottles for root beer bottles in root beer cartons? Hah! Root beer is a very popular Mormon approved soft drink, so smuggling out some real beer in a church approved carton is easy to imagine.

And what a concerned daddy Paul Ream appears to be, doesn't he? His little girl asks him to remove the "drugs" from his store and so he complies. He takes out two high maintenance items that total less than 1% of his sales... Awww. That action's just the simplest business decision ever! Consider, he has to keep expensive to operate and maintain coolers to keep that forbidden beer cool and he has to secure the tobacco products and pay staff to leave their regular tasks to unlock, select the right box or carton of smokes, return to the checkout stand and verify the age of the purchaser. Those are all steps that slow down the checkout process for everybody in line.

I"m no business major but if somebody asked me to decide what to take out of my store to improve my cost/sales ratio, those 1% items that take up an inordinate amount of space, electricity and employee time would be first to go! I wonder how readily Daddy would comply with little Shyanne's request if his beer and tobacco sales were 10% or 20% of his sales? What will he do when his dear little girl turns 14 and decides that meat is bad and wants that part off the store redesigned as a vegan lunch counter? How about it Paul? Will you take out the fresh, chilled and frozen meat departments when your little girl goes meatless?

Finally, what about that dumbass name, Shyanne? Isn't that a perfect example of the mindset of the liberal Provo mom? Its obvious that whoever named that girl, as a baby, liked the name Cheyenne, which as we all know is the name of a native american indian tribe. But mom didn't want her little girl saddled with any connection to something she doesn't know anything about and didn't have a connection to, so she kept the name and made up a spelling to make her unique. Mostly Cajun would love it!

86 Episodes and now its all done-

It seems that a popular television show, The Sopranos has come to a close this weekend. Somehow, I missed every episode...

Guess I'm just not one of the cool kids!

A desk... made from LEGO

Here's the job my kid Noah really should pursue. He seems incapable of staying employed for more than a few weeks when he has an actual boss, so self-employment seems his only possibility for long term employment. His only other possibility seems would be to purchase a flavored ice machine and shack to set on a grocery store parking lot corner. But maybe he could do this- he used to love to build LEGO stuff...

- Approximately 35,000 LEGO bricks were used. This includes almost all the pieces from 32 Blue Tubs (#3033), almost 300 (!) small baseplates (8x16 studs), and 63 blue plate packs from LEGO Shop-at-Home. A few other pieces were also bought from private collectors (226 tiles so the drawers could slide, et cetera).
- The desk weighs about 120 pounds, I think.
- The desk has the following dimensions (inches, WxHxD): 60" x 29.5" x 30".
- It has 7 working drawers (six small, one large).
- Yes, the top is bumpy -- studs up. I offered to make the top smooth, but the client specifically requested otherwise.
- Yes, I was paid to build the desk. Don't ask how much. It was worth my time.

Where do people get the ideas that lead to this stuff?

Bwahahah!

No, really, this is too funny! I can't vouch for its veracity but it sure looks like a shot from a television to me! You must see this picture!

If anybody ever tells you that being "close" with their spelling is good enough, show them this picture...